


A home away from home

by marksondaejae



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-29 01:13:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11430096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marksondaejae/pseuds/marksondaejae
Summary: Jackson and Mark meet!!!





	A home away from home

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. I wrote this one last year for an event. So, if you think you may have seen it somewhere, well, it was for a Christmas event. L.O.L :)))  
> Anyway, enjoy it and excuse my grammar and typos.

Jackson drops into his new bed his belongings and turns to look at his best friend. “Are you sure that this is supposed to be my room?”

“God, for the millionth time, yes, this is your room. Jaebum told me first on the right. Do you see any other room with this description?” Jinyoung replies, rolling his eyes. “Now be a good boy and unpack your stuff before everyone arrives.”

“But aren’t they here yet?” Jackson asks puzzled. Jinyoung told him that everyone is in here, waiting for them.

“They went to buy food, now look around and don’t take all the space; you need to share it with someone else, got it?”

Jackson sighs and collapses into his bed.

He applied to a University in L.A alongside his best friend, Jinyoung. Since Jinyoung’s boyfriend lived a couple of years in L.A he knows people and together they decided to rent a house. Jackson wasn’t against this idea until Jinyoung told him that they wouldn’t share a room since he wants to stay with his boyfriend. Now, Jackson is stuck in a room with a stranger.

They even arrived like a month ago and camped at Jaebum’s family house until now. Jinyoung and Jaebum even dragged him to someone’s party to meet new people, but given the circumstances, Jackson met just some guy who likes to dab and a stranger that he kind of slept with. Now, thinking about it, Jackson doesn’t particularly hate it, he just wants to hit his head on a wall because he didn’t even ask for that person’s name.

He just shakes his head, throwing all his memories away and starts to unpack his bag.

He glances at the other bed in the room and wonders how his new roommate would be like. He knows that the boy will be Asian since all Jaebum’s friends are. He just hopes that they will get along just fine.

“Come on, Jaebum arrived,” Jinyoung shouts practically running down the stairs.

In the living room, there are a couple of boys shaking hands with Jinyoung and talking. Jackson may or may not see them at the party, but the one who gets his interest is the dabbing boy.

“Jackson, Jaebum told us that you’ll stay with us.” The dab boy says with a big smile on his face. “In case you forgot my name, just call me Bambam.”

“Hey, guys, nice to meet you all.” Jackson greets looking at the boys one by one. There is Bambam, a guy who has a smile that could kill you and a giant one as well. “Who is going to be my roommate?”

“Oh, he didn’t come yet from his holiday from Taiwan, he will be back tomorrow,” Jaebum says patting Jackson’s back. “I hope you won’t mind but Bambam here and Yugyeom-“ He gestures to the giant one. “- wanted to stay together and Youngjae-“ He gestures to the last one “- doesn’t like to share things.”

“That’s alright; I hope my roommate won’t mind me,” Jackson says with confidence.

“I talked with him already, he is fine with anything, plus he doesn’t really talk much, so you’ll be just fine.”

 

 

That night, Jackson slept like a baby even if he was in a new house. How he managed this, he isn’t so sure, but who cares when he is fresh and ready to prepare for college.

He does his morning routine and climbs down the stairs into the kitchen. He is surprised to see Bambam cooking something.

“Hungry? I made pancakes.” He asks gesturing to a plate full of pancakes.

Jackson looks amazed at the other and sits by the table, ready to fill his stomach. “You like to cook?”

Bambam places a plate with pancakes and a bottle of syrup in front of Jackson. “Not particularly,” Bambam smiles at him, “- but this morning I felt like it, plus Mark will arrive soon and he has a sweet tooth.”

“Mark as in my roommate?” Jackson runs the syrup over the pancakes and starts to dig in.

“Yes, he really likes hot pancakes with lots of Nutella.” Bambam laughs continuing his task of cooking. “I’ve never seen someone who eats Nutella like that guy.”

“How is he like? Besides that he doesn’t talk that much?” He asks. Probably he should know more things about this Mark if they have to share the same room for the next year. Well, Jackson really wants to stay with the boys until he finishes college, but his first plan is the next year.

“Mark?” Bambam flips over a pancake and turns to Jackson with a big grin on his face. “He is silent must of the times; he is playful and doesn’t like to lose at any game.” Bambam turns back to the cooking pan continuing, “He is friendly, and at some point, after you know him better, you’ll wish that the myth about him being silent to be true.”

“Huh?” Is this guy silent or not?

“Yes, Mark is silent until you provoke him, then you’ll wish to shut him up.”

“I guess it's fine.” Jackson doesn’t know how well he will get with this silent turned non-silent guy, but if Jinyoung is his friend, then Mark will be his friend as well.

“Other than that, Mark likes animals and really likes sweet things and he doesn’t particularly like plants.”

“He doesn’t like plants? How come?”

This time, the other turns with a sour smile face. “He killed my plant.”

“I understand,” Jackson says, filling with pancakes. This Bambam guy is strange for sure.

By the time he finished his pancakes, Jinyoung and Jaebum came in the kitchen as well. They sat down and started to eat, thanking Bambam that he thought about them.

“Mark called me; he will be here in five minutes,” Jaebum says full of pancakes. “ - Asking me to ask you to make something pretty delicious for him.”

Jackson stares at Bambam and how his eyes shine with proudness, probably for the fact that he guessed what this Mark guy wants.

“It’s because he is always sweet with me.” Bambam turns off the cooker and sits with them at the table. “He even bought me that jacket I wanted.”

“It’s because you asked him million times and he got tired of it,” Jinyoung says turning to Jackson. “How was your first night here?”

“Alright, I guess.” He replies and stands up.

Jackson takes his plate and goes to the sink to wash it, but got held in place by a very familiar voice saying. “Smells so good in here.”

His heart skipped a beat at that low and cheerful voice. This can’t be who Jackson thinks he is. That will be too much of a coincidence. He just took a breath and started to do his dish.

“Hey, Jackson, come here. This is Mark, your roommate.” Jinyoung says his tone of voice very lively and bright.

When Jackson turned to look at them, he tried his best not to let the others notice his discomfort. He meets Mark's eyes and for a second the other looked surprised but recovered fast replacing his shock with a beautiful smile. Yes, Jackson remembers so clearly that smile.

“Oh, I know him,” Mark says very happily. “I’ve met him at a party this summer.”

The others look a bit surprised as they turn to him. “Why didn’t you tell us anything?” Jaebum asks looking between the two persons in the cause.

“I didn’t know Mark will be my roommate, I never imagined that.”

 

 

The next day, Jackson met his new classmates, or let’s say his new group mates since he is in college. He made some friends between them, but in the end, he turned to the people he knows already; the frat house.

There, in the group, is no one who he knows, since every one of them has another major, apparently just Mark has the same as his, but unfortunately, he is in an advanced class since he is older. He found out it last night when everyone gathered in the living room. Mark wasn’t there anyway.

Now, he is sitting in his room playing a random game on his phone, but with his mind far away. He misses his family. He would love to be back with them. He has one of those moments when you want to leave it all and move back to where you have come from. There, where there is someone who loves you and always waits for you.

“No, I don’t need-“ Mark voice echoes in the silent room as he walks in.

Jackson looks up from his phone at Mark. He is talking with someone on the phone. He throws his bag on his bed and falls into it with a thud.

“I’ll call when I need anything,” Mark says.

Jackson tries his best to stay out of his conversation, but it’s kind of hard when someone practically shouts on the phone. Since last morning when Jackson has seen Mark, he never met his eyes since. He tried his best to avoid the older. Even now it’s kind of uncomfortable, and the discussion about that summer night that he knows will come it’s embarrassing.

Mark ends the phone call and once again the silence falls in the room. From what Bambam told him Mark is a silent person, but you see, Jackson’s isn’t, and right now he feels like something heavy is pressing him down. It’s too silent for his liking, but he doesn’t know how to open a discussion with Mark.

“Hey, sorry for not greeting you, but my dad it’s really giving me a headache lately,” Mark says as he stands up.

Jackson is kind of lost here, but one point for Mark for being polite. “That’s alright isn’t like you are obligated to do it.”

“Right, but hey friends greet each other.”

Jackson really wants to ask since when are they friends, but instead, he bites his tongue and looks down on his phone once again. Why is it so hard to talk with Mark?

“So, I’ve wanted to tell you since yesterday, but I haven’t seen you around, that I won’t tell the others about this summer, don’t worry.”

Jackson's head snaps in Mark direction. “How did you-“

“From your eyes last morning, they say it for you,” Mark says with a smile. “Did you forget that I am a pro at reading eyes?”

Jackson just watches Mark leaving the room. That was kind of awkward, Jackson must admit. He never intended to be awkward with his roommate, but considering that this is Mark, that Mark who had a one night stand with its kind of difficult.

 

 

 

The next few days, everything got harder and harder on Jackson, from the new country with a new culture to little things like the coffee. First, everyone is looking strange at him when he bows when he sees a teacher; they are giving him stares and probably judging him. It’s hard to accommodate to a new culture when all his life Jackson lived in Hong Kong and Korea. The boys always cook or they order food, but Jackson really misses his mother’s cooking. He misses the traditional food from his country; he had ordered a few times Chinese food but doesn’t taste the same.

He gets along with his housemates very well. Everyone is treating him right and understands him. Everyone comes from a different country, the only exception being Mark, so they know how Jackson is feeling.

Let’s not forget that every time he sees Mark his heart lets a little jump and his body gets stiff. He is still awkward with the older. He wishes from all his heart to get along and be comfortable, but he just can’t. He isn’t sure why he is so restraint, but something doesn’t let him get friendly with Mark.

Mark, on the other hand, is oblivious to this, he acts normal around him, he tried to make conversation with Jackson, but after some time he gave up. True, Mark isn’t a talkative person if you won’t make him, so the lack of attention from Jackson, he gave up.

“I told you already, I am giving-“ Mark enters the room again talking into his phone. Jackson isn’t sure why Mark doesn’t try and hide a bit when he has to talk on the phone, but Jackson never asked and never intends to tell other what he hears. “Whatever, I am not going.”

Like that, he ended the conversation. He takes a deep breath that Jackson hears from where he works on his project.

“Hey Jackson, what’s up?”

Jackson turns around to not look impolite and answers in a low voice. “Just working on my project, which reminds me that you had to do this as well last year, can I take a look at it?”

“Of course, if you ever want my help, let me know,” Mark answers approaching Jackson. He bends a bit and looks over Jackson’s shoulder at the computer screen. “Oh, I know. I’ll look over my last year papers and search for it.”

Jackson can feel Mark’s breath on his neck as he talks, teleporting him on that night when they got lost in each other. His heart does little jumps in his chest as he feels something strange in his stomach. How Mark can be so normal when all Jackson can remember is that night, every single time he sees Mark.

“What is this?” Mark asks looking at a post note on the desk. “You miss home?”

Jackson's eyes go wide as he looks at the note he had written on one if his weak moments. He made a list of everything that he hates in here and what he misses, so maybe like this everything will go away and his heart will feel a bit lighter. It worked for a moment, but right now he curses himself for letting it there where anyone could see it.

“Just a bit,” Jackson replies taking the note and hides it under a notebook. “But that’s alright,”

“I know a secret how to feel better,” Mark says his voice a bit louder and more joyfully. “Let’s go.”

He holds his hand out to Jackson, encouraging him with his eyes to take it. Jackson glares at the hand then back at Mark's face and eventually, he takes the hand. He can feel electricity going up his hand, just like he felt that night and in his stomach can feel a little butterfly moves around, it’s almost scary for Jackson to think and name this feeling.  
Mark moved him into the living room and cocooned him in a blanket.

Jackson looks at him quizzically, waiting for an answer or an explanation. “We are going to order pizza, a lot of pizza. What kind of pizza do you like?” Mark asks with his cellphone in his hand.

“With cheese?” Jackson asks, not really sure what is happening.

“Come one, more than that,” Mark smiles at him, blowing his hair from his eyes. “We are going to order lots of pizza, Jackson, just say more than one.”

“Ok.” Jackson smiles and tries to recall what he likes on the pizza. “Cheese, ham and I really like maize on it, let’s take a vegetable one. Oh, and quarto formaggi because I really love cheese.”

“What about soda? Coke or Fanta, what do you like?”

“Coke will be alright.”

Mark orders pizza, and for Jackson surprise, he orders fried chicken as well and, Jackson watches him doing so. Mark profile looks so handsome and he has some kissable lips. Jackson wants to hit his head at the thought; that night keeps coming again and again.

“Ok, now we need a good movie,” Mark announces as he stands up. “What’s your favorite movie?”

“I don’t really have one but I really like Stupid Crazy Love.” Jackson decides that he hasn’t seen the movie for a while and if Mark wants to keep him company while watching is even better.

They ended up eating tons of pizza and drink more than their stomach could hold. When the movie ended they decided that should eat the fried chicken as well. He is glad that the other decided to do others stuff and don’t disturb their weird evening.

It was comforting for Jackson, for the first time since he discovered that Mark is his roommate he didn’t felt awkward being with him.

Now, they are leaning on each other as they hold their stomach. “Thank you so much, it kind of helped me,” Jackson says his voice dreamy and heavy with sleep.

“I know the feeling, my parents moved a lot when I was little,” Mark replies turning to look at Jackson.

Jackson can feel the gaze of Mark on his face and slowly he turns to look at Mark as well. His eyes hold a rare sparkle that Jackson hasn’t seen in anyone else’s eyes.

He feels like this summer, when Mark holds his gaze and in a fell of the moment kissed Jackson. Would it be bad if Jackson this time will do the same?

Without any regret and more like a thank you for Mark, Jackson closes his eyes and leans in pressing his lips into Mark.

He doesn’t wait to see if the kiss can go any farther and breaks it. He opens his eyes and looks at the older, to see what his eyes are telling him.

 

 

 

When Jackson wakes up the next morning, his body gets rigid in a second. There on the other part of his bed is Mark.

What has he done?

Flashing of last night rushing through his mind; kisses, touches, and good God help him to survive another awkward morning with Mark.

This summer when he woke up next to Mark in a foreign home he almost died of shock. He never made such a reckless decision all his life, but here is he again, doing the same mistake again and again.

“I can hear you thinking,” Mark voice echoes in the silent room. His voice is rough after sleep and deep like the ocean. He turns around, the duvets falling from his torso, revealing the white skin that Jackson ran and hands on last night. “We are adults who sometimes need a bit of attention; there is no need to be awkward.”

Jackson shifts a bit in discomfort and tries to look anywhere else but at Mark. “That is easy to say, but hello, I’ve never done this.”

“This as in sleeping with someone, or done one night stands, because I recall us doing the same thing this summer.”

“Look, it’s awkward to talk about you know what, with someone who you are not dating, and plus we just barely know each other.”

“I thought that we are friends now, after how you finally felt relaxed around me,” Mark says standing up, probably as the day he was born but Jackson won’t confirm it. “Look, I really like you; you are funny, you seem like a friendly person, we don’t need to be awkward. I admit that maybe I am a bit uncomfortable too, but I think us being friends and getting along its more important and knowing that you don’t regret what happened between us and want to be friends.”

After that long speech, Jackson is left without words. Does he regret what happened? Of course, he doesn’t. Does he want to be friends with Mark? Yes, of course, he wants, but why is something keeping him from doing so? Maybe he was afraid of being rejected by Mark, or maybe he was afraid of starting to like Mark more than he should.

 

 

After that awkward morning, Jackson got lots closer to Mark. He isn’t sure how it happened. He tried to get more relaxed around Mark and tried to hold a longer conversation than a few words. As days go by, everything seems to go on the right path, with some exception that Jackson doesn’t know what to make of it.

Sometimes, when no one will see it, like the days in the morning when Mark will walk into the kitchen and see Jackson, he will lean in and place a kiss on Jackson’s lips. The first time when this happened, Jackson wanted to ask what that was for but Mark flew the scene before Jackson could ask. The next time it was kind of awkward for both of them. They were looking at a movie when Jackson caught Mark looking at him, he turned to ask what is wrong but Mark kissed him before he could say anything else.

Maybe for Mark, this is nothing or something more, and it's confusing Jackson to no end. He wants to ask what is in the order’s mind, why he does it. Does it mean anything?

The other thing that bothers Jackson is that every time Mark will do it, his heart starts to beat faster and he feels that butterfly flying around in his tummy. He knows where this is going, but a part of him doesn’t want to acknowledge it. It’s scary to wake up one morning and realize that you are in love with your roommate. It’s scary not knowing why Mark acts this way.

“Good morning, Jackson.” Mark greets leaning into place the same kiss again. “How did you sleep?”

Jackson grits his teeth, taking a long breath. “I slept just fine, but I want to ask you something.”

Mark places the glass he took from the kitchen cabinets and turns to look at Jackson. “What’s wrong?”

“Look, I appreciate the time we spent together but I think we should clarify-“

“Mark, someone is here to see you,” Bambam says, interrupting Jackson.

“Hi,” A girl appears from behind Bambam waving shyly.

Jackson watches how Mark body went rigid and how Bambam smirks like a little kid he is. He isn’t sure who this girl is but she makes Mark uncomfortable.

“Jackson,” Bambam says taking Jackson’s hand in his. “We should let Mark and his girlfriend alone.” He whispers in Jackson’s ear.

Jackson looks at Mark for an explanation or something, but Mark doesn’t look at him.

He feels how Bambam drags him out of the room, but all Jackson can think is what a fool he was. Why would he think that maybe Mark will like him, why Mark will spend a lot of time with Jackson if is not because out of pity. 

Why he even thought about someone like Mark liking him? Not that Jackson isn’t likable, but Mark will look better with a girl by his side. Jackson is loud and does stupid things; he doesn’t pay attention to his manners when he eats or drinks.

But why would he care anyway, isn’t like he likes Mark that much? The thing he started to feel is just a feeling and will go away in no time. This is just a phase, and probably this is what was for Mark too. Maybe Mark got too comfortable with Jackson by his side.

He isn’t sure what happened but Jackson couldn’t feel less than a fool. He is a fool and let his feelings go a bit too much.

 

 

After the encounter that took place between he and well, apparently Mark’s girlfriend, he left the house. He wanted to be somewhere quiet to think.

First of all, he kind of started to like Mark. He isn’t sure when it started or why, but the feeling is there. Maybe he started to like the older when he helped him with his homesick, or maybe when Mark defended him when he let an unwashed dish in the sink, or maybe the time they spent talking stupid things until late in the night.

Forgetting that he slept with Mark this summer when he didn’t even know his name, or that he slept with Mark a while ago because they felt like, Jackson really wanted to like Mark just a bit more. He believed that true love is born from friendship.

Now, thinking back to the time, he can’t wrap his mind at how dirty Mark is. Why couldn’t he just tell Jackson that he already has a girlfriend? Why couldn’t Mark just put a stop to his action and don’t lead Jackson on? But most important, Mark cheated on his girlfriend with Jackson.

Turning back now, why would Mark cheat on his girlfriend? Isn’t he in love with her? Why is he dating her? Whatever the reason is, this is immoral.

After standing alone on a bench in the park with his thoughts, he decided that he should stop Mark’s actions. He isn’t someone who could ask Mark for some kind of explanation, but he can stop whatever is going on between them.

 

 

He tried to ignore Mark’s stares that evening when they had dinner, he tried to stay much longer in the living room with Jinyoung doing homework, but in the end, he knows that he should go to his room.

“What’s going on with you and Mark?” Jinyoung asks. He puts the pen he was holding down and turns to look at his best friend.

“Nothing,” Jackson replies. His voice was a bit higher than usual, just like when he tries to lie.

“I’ve seen him glaring at you all evening and you tried hard not to look back at him; if that isn’t something then I am a penguin.”

“Whatever,” Jackson crosses his arms over his chest and pouts. “If I am going to tell you, you have to promise that no one will hear it.”

“You know me, Jackson if you don’t want to tell me that’s fine, but if you anytime want advice with something, let me know.”

“I like someone,” Jackson blurs out. “And that someone has a girlfriend.”

“And that someone is Mark?”

Jackson lowers his head and nods his head. “Yes,”

“Well, you want some advice?” Jinyoung asks, standing up from the chair he was and sits beside Jackson on the living room couch.

“I will appreciate if you’ll tell me how to break them up.” Jackson jokes but his smile fade when he sees the serious face of his friend. “Now, really, what should I do, isn’t like I have any chance.”

“Well, I don’t know many things about Mark, but his life is complicated, so give him a bit of space, alright. I can see that he likes you, but he is full of problems.” Jinyoung tries his best to console Jackson by petting his back. “Just let it be for some time, and when you’ll see that Mark is alright, you can tell him later if you didn’t move on until then.”

Jackson lets the new information sink in. Maybe Mark did those little things to experiment something, maybe Mark never been with a guy before and now he is trying to understand himself. And these things plus his problems that Jinyoung said about isn’t going to help him. Jackson needs to let it go, and try to act normal around Mark, he doesn’t want to add a new problem to Mark.

His heart feels a bit more at ease now that knowing about Mark’s problems. Like Mark tried to help him every time Jackson felt like going back to Hong Kong, now it’s Jackson’s turn to help Mark as much as he can.

 

 

 

“Hey, Mark,” Jackson says wrapping his hands around Mark from behind. Mark was at the cooker, probably trying to boil some eggs. “Good morning,” He wants to be as clingy as Mark was the past weeks. He has to give back what he received, so maybe Mark will feel a bit better. Long forgotten Mark’s girlfriend.

“I am boiling some eggs; do you want one as well?” Mark asks, putting one of his hands over Jackson’s joined hands on his torso. “At least I know how to cook boiled eggs.”

Jackson places a kiss on Mark’s neck and detaches himself. “Of course, who am I to pass Mark’s infamous boiled eggs?”

Mark turns to look at Jackson with a questioning look. He is dressed in black shorts and a white oversized shirt, just perfect for a cozy Friday night. “What got into you, Jackson Wang? I thought that you were mad at me you know, since yesterday-“

Jackson bites the inside of his cheek, contemplating if he really wants to have this discussion. “Since?”

“You know since my girlfriend visited me. You didn’t look very good then.” Mark turns to check on his eggs, most probably trying to avoid Jackson’s eyes.

“Well, since you and I kind of slept together and did other things, I supposed that you don't have any relationship, considering that-“ Jackson doesn’t know how to finish that sentence. “Well, I don’t see you as the cheating guy.”

Mark turns to look at him, with a glint of a smile on his face. “I am so happy to hear that about me, but I don’t cheat on my partners. My dad makes me date her, isn’t my choice.”

“Still, I am feeling bad that we did that,” Jackson lowers his eyes in shame.

“She knows that I am having encounters with others as well, she does the same. We just play the game our parents made us to.” Mark turns off the cooker and starts to cold off the eggs by using cold water. “I am sorry for making you feel this way, but I feel good around you and I couldn’t stop myself from acting like that.”

Jackson feels a bit better than he felt yesterday. Jinyoung told him to not create another problem for Mark by confessing, so he just smiles at those words. He will keep that feeling inside for now.

 

One day when Jackson was about to enter his class, a high pitched voice called for him. He never expected to see Mark’s girlfriend to greet him with a big smile.  
In return, Jackson waved a bit and saluted her in a very cheerful voice.  
What he didn’t expect was for her to threaten him to stay away from Mark, because even if they are fake dating for the sake of their parents, they will get married in the future.  
Ok, first of all, Jackson was a bit taken aback by her comment. Like, why would she say that to him? She didn’t even bat a lash when she tasted that Mark and Jackson has an affair.  
He isn’t sure how she get to that conclusion, considering that Jackson has seen her only once in his life, that time when she had come to visit Mark, but Jackson didn’t get the chance to ask because she already put a smile on her face and left.  
\---------------------------

 

Jackson had spent that night thinking and thinking. Yes, he could say screw Mark’s girlfriend and do whatever he wants, but in the end, Jackson will be the one with a broken heart.

He is already attached to Mark more than a friend, and he knows that Mark likes him back, even if Mark never said so, and if he won’t stop what he is doing now he will end in pain, with no one there to put back the pieces. He lives far away from home right now, he isn’t even sure when will be the next time he will see his parents.

Like Mark’s girlfriend said, they would end up married together, if Mark’s parents will force him, and Jackson isn’t sure if he wants to be the third party always.

The only conclusion he got to, is that he should try and day by day to grow apart from Mark.

 

 

 

It’s almost Christmas time, Jinyoung, Youngjae, and Jaebum are leaving for home in a few hours, Bambam already left for Thailand.

Jackson feels a bit bad that he couldn’t go and visit his parents. “I am so envious of you.”

“Don’t worry, your parents promised that will visit after holidays, so it’s alright,” Jinyoung says, not one even bit trying to contain his excitement for going home.

“Whatever, I am going to bring your present since you won’t be here on Christmas Eve,” Jackson says standing up from Jinyoung's bed. “I just hope that I won’t be left alone here.”

“Don’t worry, Yugyeom will keep you company, or you could ask Mark to take you home with him.”

Jackson didn’t stay to hear the rest of his friend nonsense, so he went to his room to bring his Christmas present to his friend. He bought presents for everyone, even for Mark who by now he barely talks to. It breaks his heart to see Mark face even if it’s once a day, but this is for the better. If you don’t feed the beast it will get weak. So, he tried to stay away from his source of torment, maybe one day Jackson will find the happiness of his life.

When Jackson entered the room, his eyes pop out when he sees a crying Mark on his bed, with his head buried in his pillow.

That’s actually a sight that Jackson never wanted to see. First, because of how he feels about Mark and second because Mark always puts on a brave face. Mark is that kind of guy who never shows his problems. He learned a long time ago that if you want something from Mark, you have to know how to dig in his heart.

Should he ask what is wrong, considering that they drifted apart in the last two months? At first, Mark tried really hard to understand why Jackson suddenly started to ignore him, but after two weeks in which Jackson avoided Mark, the older gave up. They turned back from the beginning.

“Mark,” Jackson whispers, afraid of ignorance or maybe afraid of himself.

The older stopped his hard breathing on the pillow, probably trying to calm down so he can turn around and look Jackson in the eye.

“Look, it’s alright to cry, I don’t judge, hell, I even cry sometimes when I miss home or even when I take a bad grade, but if you want anything let me know. If you want help with anything I’ll be here.” Ok, that was a thing to say. Jackson gave to Mark the cold shower and now he is offering kindness it’s kind of weird.

Mark turns his head from the pillow and takes a sitting position in bed, laying his back on the wall. His eyes are red, his face is wet and his hair is sticking in all kind of direction, but in Jackson’s eyes, Mark is still beautiful. Mark wipes his eyes and face with the back of his head and gives a weak smile. “Sorry,”

Jackson sits carefully on Mark bed. “It’s alright; you don’t have to be sorry.” Jackson smiles back, holding his hand back from touching Mark. “Would you like some hot chocolate? I make the best hot chocolate.”

“Nobody makes better hot chocolate than Jinyoung,” Mark argues back .” –But I will appreciate if you’ll do that for me.”

Jackson carefully takes Mark’s hand in his and helps the boy out of his bed. He can feel the same electricity he felt always when he touched Mark. He doesn’t let go of the hand until they reach the kitchen and pushes Mark slowly on a chair. “Hold on, I’ll be done in a second.”

The silence isn’t as uncomfortable as Jackson thought it will be. It seems like whatever he does, he can’t just forget how it is to be around the older.

“I heard that you gave Bambam that pair of shoes he wanted,” Mark says.

Jackson can’t see Mark expression, but he can tell that Mark tries hard to make conversation, probably hanging on having Jackson talking to him or because he wants to forget about his problems.

“Yes, I can’t imagine how in the world he likes those sparkle shoes.” Jackson shakes his head and turns to look at Mark. He put the water for the chocolate to boil and now they have to wait. “Anyway, he was happy,”

“He likes strange things,” Mark adds, a small smile forming on his face. “He made me buy him ten shades of hair color spray.”  
Jackson turns back to check the water and steps are heard coming down the stairs. “Jackson, where the hell is my present?” Jinyoung voice asks, in a teasing manner. “I’ve been waiting.”

Jackson turns to his friend and tries to sign with his eyes to disappear from the kitchen, but it seems like Jinyoung can’t read the signs and takes a seat beside Mark.

“Mark, good to see you,” Jinyoung puts a hand around Mark's shoulders and gives one of his best smiles. “Jackson here will be alone on this Christmas, so can you like bring him with you at your house or better bring Yugyeom with you as well.”

“There’s no need, I’ll see what I will do by myself,” Jackson adds turning to check the boiling water.

“Don’t listen to Jackson, he tries to be strong, but I know he will cry in a corner missing his parents,” Jinyoung says.

Jackson can’t see what is going behind him, but he assumes that Jinyoung stands up from the noise the chair it makes. He sighs at his friend stubbornness and turns to place the hot chocolate on the table, looking how Jinyoung climbs the stair to his room. “Don’t listen to him,” Jackson tries hard to smile at the bitterness of being alone on Christmas.

Mark takes the mug with hot chocolate and smells it. “Can I ask you something?” He seems like something is bothering him, so Jackson just nods his head. “Why did you suddenly stopped avoid me? If you didn’t like me you should have just told me, I would have understood.”

Jackson's heart stopped to beat. How could he answer that question? “I didn’t like you?” Jackson wonders out loud. Why would Mark assume that?

“I know that I’ve been a little too pushy, but when I get attached to someone I tend to do that,” Mark says and then takes a sip from the mug. “Sorry, I scared you away, right?”

“What, no,” Jackson shouts, maybe a little too loud. He takes a deep breath and looks at Mark. “It was because we don’t want the same thing and I thought that we will do both a favor. “

“And what was that you wanted and I didn’t?” Mark asks.

It’s hard to look in the elder’s eyes, so Jackson moves his eyes to look somewhere on the wall. Is it right to say what he feels? Would it change their situation with anything? Mark will have to marry that girl anyway, right?” “Stuff,”

“Stuff like? Mark asks. “I thought we have something in common and that we understand each other quite well.”

Jackson wants to fly out of this situation but will be kind of rude to just let Mark at the table. That will be something that Mark won’t forget easily. “Fine, the thing is that if I would have continued, I would end up falling for you and in the end I will get my heart broken.”

“Why would you get your heart broken?” Mark carefully asks, his voice low, that you can barely hear him. “I still like you, even after you stopped talking to me,”

“Even so, you’ll have to get married to I don’t even know her name, and I will be left out. I don’t want that for myself, and I don’t want that for you.” Jackson decided that is best to talk and tell Mark whatever is in his heart. He can’t let Mark misunderstand him.

“How do you even know about the marriage thing? Did Gina talk with you about it?” Mark is surprised. You can see it in his eyes. So, this was something that Jackson shouldn’t have known about. “I am not marrying anyone.”

“But she-“

“I was supposed to marry her, but I am not going to,” Mark says as fast as he can. “You should have asked me, not listen to whoever wants to fill your mind with lies.”

“But-“

“That’s alright.” Mark gives a weak smile pushing the mug a bit as he stands up. “Is not like you care that much anymore,”

Jackson watches as Mark climbs the stair to their room, the room that Jackson tried to avoid the past month.

“Stupid Jackson, why didn’t you ask him why he was crying?” he hits his forehead with his palm and stands up to wash the mug Mark used. He looks around to make sure that no one is seeing him. When the west coast is clear, he drinks the chocolate that Mark left behind.

 

 

Ok, this is awkward, everyone left for they home except him, Mark and Yugyeom. They are on the living room couch, with bowls of rice in their lap as they watch a movie on television.

“Jackson? What are your plans for this Christmas?” Yugyeom asks.

“No plans, lying around.” Jackson shrugs looking at Mark to see his reaction. “What about you?”

“That’s why I am asking,” Yugyeom replies placing his bowl of rice on the coffee table and turns with puppy eyes at Mark. “Take us with you, pleaseeeee.”

This is the most idiotic thing Jackson has seen Yugueom doing. He is embarrassed just to watch him pouting and blinking like Christmas lights.

“Come on, Markie, don’t let us stay by ourselves. I know that your mom cooks amazing.”

Jackson moves his eyes from Yugyeom to Mark, but what he sees is not what he expected. Mark isn’t amused; he just stares at the younger. He tries to hide behind a fake smile, but Jackson already noticed the glossy eyes.

“Yugyeom, would you like to bring me a glass of water?” Jackson asks.

“Why me?”

“Come, on,”

Yugyeom stands up from the couch and leaves the two boys alone. Mark continues to eat his rice meanwhile Jackson is looking at him.

“You can talk to me, you know?” Jackson says “If you have anything in your heart, you can tell me, I always will be there to listen.”

Mark stops with his spoon in middle air and looks at Jackson. His eyes hiding all kind of feelings, but Jackson doesn’t know why Mark is so sad.

“Here is your glass of water.” Yugyeom pushes in Jackson’s hands a glass of water and turns to Mark. “Can we go with you?”

Mark turns to look at the TV and murmurs. “I am not going home this Christmas.”

“What? But you live like thirty minutes from here.”

“I said that I am not going,”

“Guys, I have the best idea ever.” Jackson snaps, his voice a little too loud. “What about we go tomorrow buy ingredients and prepare the most delicious meal for Christmas Eve.”  
“We don’t know how to cook,” Yugyeom says, with a blank expression.

“So what? Wouldn’t it will be fun?” Jackson says, looking at Mark to see his expression. “We can exchange gifts; like make some notes with our names, and then we pick randomly one name and give them a present.”

 

 

Now, Jackson is trapped between a grumpy Mark and a super hyper Yugyeom in their kitchen. “And we are going to put that meat with the vegetables,” Yugyeom instructs as he reads from his phone.

Jackson reaches for the carrot they have peeled to but his hands touch Mark who had the same thought as him. “You do it.” Jackson offers with a smile.

Mark reaches for the carrot and turns to cut it.

They earlier this day decorated the house with Christmas lights, tinsel and even decorated a tree. Now, the frat house looks like it’s in the Christmas spirit.

Jackson bought a teddy bear and a card for the lucky person who will receive it. They didn’t extract the notes yet, and a secret present for Mark. He decided to put it under the tree so Mark could see in the morning when he wakes up.

“Look, they even said to put some garlic powder, do you think it is ok?” Yugyeom is so engrossed in this game of cooking that Mark and Jackson can’t keep up with him. To put into simpler words, Yugyeom says what to do and the other accomplishes it.

“Look, Bambam sent me a video of fireworks, I am so jelly right now. Why here Christmas Eve is so late?”

The boys gathered around to see the video from Bambam. You can see fireworks and hear Bambam screaming like an idiot. He seems to have fun. Jackson can’t wait to have some fun as well.

After some time of chopping and glaring at Yugyeom, the boys finished with everything. They decided to put on some carols and be lazy on the couch telling silly stories.

“Last year, I don’t remember the exact date, Mark lost a dare and Jaebum made him run on the street as the day was born. We thought that will be too devil to make him scream something, so he escaped easily.” Yugyeom says, with a big grin on his face. “I even have a video, wait for it.”

“Don’t listen to him,” Mark says, burying his face in his hands. “I’ll give that idiot a piece of my mind if he brings that video.”

“Come on, there’s nothing that I haven’t seen.” Jackson winks and slides a hand to wrap around Mark’s waist. “Are you blushing?”

“You-“

“So, here’s the video?” Yugyeom places his laptop on Jackson’s lap and presses play. “It was night, but you can say that the person is Mark.”

After they shared more stories and Yugyeom and Mark battled into showing embarrassing videos with each other, Jackson went to see how is the meat doing in the oven.

So far, this Christmas Eve is going well. He thought that he will spend it in his bed looking at Christmas pictures on Google. Yes, he still wonders why Mark didn’t go home, but the older will tell them if he wants.

He secretly hung some Christmas light above Mark’s bed, so maybe the other will brighten up a bit and smile more because all day Mark was kind of sad, you could tell it from kilometers, but over the day it seems like he got more lively.

Later, that night, they exchanged presents, Jackson gave the card and the teddy bear to Yugyeom, Yugyeom gave Mark a new pair of Christmas socks and gloves; Mark gave Jackson pajamas with Rudolf on it. They ate the food they cooked, they listened to carols while drinking some wine and at two in the morning went to bed.

Mark got happier and Jackson was so thankful for that. After all, the Christmas went well.

When he lied down on the bed, with a full smile on his face, something hard hit his head. Jackson patted the bed to see what’s going on and his hands hit something, he picks it up realizing that this is a present. He takes it in his hands and looks over at Mark’s bed illuminated by the Christmas lights. “Is this from you?”

He can see Mark shifting in the bed turning to look at him. “Do you like it?”

Jackson brows frown as he very carefully unwraps the present to see what is hidden in the little box.

There on the white surface is lying, from what Jackson can see in the dim light is a golden bracelet. He takes it in his hand and studies with watery eyes. His heart feels so heavy right now from this little gesture; he never expected to get something from Mark at this rate.

He tries hard to hold back his tears as he looks at Mark once again. The older is looking at him with big doe eyes that make Jackson swallow hard. “I love it, thank you.”

He gets down from his bed and slowly, with his heart all over the place makes his way toward Mark. He sits on the bed and takes Mark face between his palms. Mark's face is so beautiful lit with the multitude of Christmas lights; it’s almost like a movie.

“I am sorry Mark for ignoring you, I really am,” Jackson says, holding Mark's eyes. “But I was too hurt to think properly or maybe asking you.”

Mark nods his head and places his hand over Jackson’s that holds his face. He unwraps Jackson’s hands from his face and intertwines their fingers. “The first time when I’ve seen you at the party this summer, you looked so handsome standing there, asking me with your eyes to talk with you, but you know, I am not that good with words. Anyway, when I found out that you’ll be my roommate I couldn’t believe my luck that I’ve met you again.”

Jackson always wanted to hear the story from Mark’s point of view. He always wanted to know what was on the older mind.

“It was hard to be around you while we’ve been so awkward with each other. I couldn’t find proper words to let you know that I want to be friends.” Mark smiles at the memory and continues. “With time I found out what a great person you are. I noticed every little thing you did, from giving Yugyeom the biggest piece of meat to making Bambam homework when he was busy. You are so kind, you always smile, and you never let anyone take care of you. Sometimes I wished for you to show a bit of feeling, to let me take care of you.”

“Mark-“

“I never wanted to hurt you, my parents forced me to date Gina, and yes, they wanted us to get married after we finish college. I’ve spent long nights wondering if this is what truly wanted if I truly wanted to marry young and make my parents dream come true.”

Mark takes a deep breath, probably trying to find the right words. “But you, you made me realize something; that I shouldn’t live my parent's dream, that I should be strong and do what I like, you came so far away from your home, you are working hard to get where you want to be. You made me realize that if we want something, in the end, I can get it.”

Jackson couldn’t hold his tears anymore. Those words are the most beautiful words that someone ever told him, and coming from Mark it means so much more.

“So, from now on, please, don’t avoid me anymore.” Mark wipes Jackson’s face with his palm and smiles fondly at the younger. “Let’s give each other a chance.”

Jackson nods his head, not sure how to speak. He feels like he is living a fairy tale. His heart is so full of joy as Mark presses his lips on his temple and travels down to lock it in a kiss.

If this is a dream, Jackson doesn’t want to wake up.

The first one who received the notice was Yugyeom the next day as Mark and Jackson came downstairs hand in hand. He was shocked at the sight, but in the end, he invited the boys to take the breakfast in the city to celebrate it. He was teasing them nonstop, but they didn’t care that much.

At the New Year ’s Eve, they stayed home with Yugyeom, watching a silly TV show and drinking champagne. When the time tick tucked the enter on the New Year, they watched the fireworks on their garden and kissed for a lucky new year.

When the others returned and received the notice as well, Jinyoung was the first one who jumped on Jackson and practically screamed in delight of happiness. It was weird and Jaebum had to detach his boyfriend from Jackson.

“We finally have Markson, guys,” Bambam shouts. “Did you hear that I have to post it on Instagram.” Bambam takes his phone out and gathers the seven friends in a picture.


End file.
